POWERPLAY – Go for Breakthrough
Excerpted from STRATEGY OF THE DOLPHIN
Dudley Lynch & Paul L Kordis
“Tit for tat is how you “go for breakthrough” when playing with [power grabbing aggressors]. Its aim is to help mutual cooperation evolve. Once in place, mutual cooperation sets the stage for the truly exciting, productive aspects of playing Breakthrough, aspects that have high survival value for all players, both short and long term. When playing Breakthrough with friendly, supportive colleagues, friends, relatives or organizations, [producers in a chaotic world] go for a win/win… or even greater mutual wins with these injunctions:
- Develop trust and rapport
- Tell the truth so you can clarify everyone’s needs explicitly
- Specify, clarify, and define the expected outcome
- Commit to it and see yourself achieving it
- Stay “centered” in the present during conflict – this helps others to avoid being hooked by guilt and the regrets of the past and the anxieties and fears of the future.
- Focus on what’s happening now – this is where and when solutions emerge.
- Remain flexible and able to respond
- Remove all blame and focus on what works
- If strong negative emotions surface, acknowledge the feelings and ask, “What needs to happen now? What needs to change? What can I do to use this energy constructively?”
- If resistance arises, explore it and use it rather than creating a battle of wills.
- Develop the belief that you have the power to affect your life directly and that you will ultimately be supported.
- Suspend judgment
- Be willing to be illogical
- Focus on going beyond ‘winning’ as opposed to merely ‘not losing’
- Give everyone permission to win
- Talk about what you are doing that is not working
- Search for alternative meanings that will satisfy the situation and everyone’s needs more productively
- Ask ‘What if…?’
- Use metaphors, analogies, and stories that match the situation you are facing
- Use humor. If this situation were funny, what would you be laughing at?
- Be willing to identify and go beyond habit
- Seek the unexpected
- Make time to receive unconscious messages
- Search for the second, third, or fourth “correct” solution
- Accept the stress needed to motivate you to a higher order of processing
NBCC coaches understand that breakthrough must come from you. We don’t presume the correct answers, we support your creation and selection of constructive strategies and positive applications to be sure that the champion within you emerges on your field of play. Power is. You can use NBCC to be assured that power for your greater good carries the day!