Lies Are Like Noses
Everybody lies. Kids lie, men lie, women lie. We all lie. I was reading a book by Po Bronson called Nurture Shock. In this book, Po talks about how all children lie. In fact, he devotes an entire chapter to it. They lie to try and please us. We all lie for one reason or another, not meaning any harm to anyone, and then that little white lie seems to be ok, it did not hurt anyone and no one found out, so we tell a bigger lie. And so it goes.
How do you handle all of this lying? What should we do about it? How do we know when someone is lying? Well, first of all, there are primarily two types of lies that we tell. Outer lies and Inner lies. Outer lies are those lies that you tell to other people, lies you tell outside of yourself. Inner lies are those lies that you tell yourself. We all do it. These are the most powerful and damaging lies that we all tell.
We have all picked up lies from different places. There are five main lies that you tell yourself. Here is where they come from. What they are will be different for each of us.
I have learned from experience and from a seminar I took from Dr. Paul Fitzgerald, or Dr. Paul as he is known. In this class, what I learned when we were kids growing up, we learned many things from our parents by watching them and then doing what we saw them do (this is called aping). So the first place we learn to lie, is from our parents. Parents lie to their kids all of the time. Oh, for good reasons of course, but a lie is a lie is a lie. Our kids learn from others, from other adults, from their friends. It is a part of our humanness and it is going to occur.
What are some of the lies that we learn from our parents? For each of us, it is different. I can share some of mine. I learned from my father, I am not good enough, or smart enough, not as smart as other people. My Dad would say that about himself all of the time. I developed an inner lie from my Dad’s inner lie. If it was true for him, and we share a name so we must be similar, it must be true for me. Sounds logical enough.
So the first place we learn to lie, is by listening to and watching our parents and picking up their inner lies. I am not dissing my Dad, he is an awesome guy. He just never gave himself the credit he deserved. He has many good traits, he is a great Dad, loving, caring, honest, hard working, good provider. In fairness, I am pretty sure my Dad learned it from his Dad. The gift that keeps on giving.
We also pick up lies from turning actions into beliefs. I have lots of these unfortunately. Here’s what I mean. I make a mistake, say I get a review from a seminar I have taught and the input from the participant is that they did not understand a point I made, or did not understand how to apply what I said. Instead of telling the truth, I was not clear in my communication, I tell myself a lie, I am a horrible communicator, no wonder no one wants to communicate with me, I must just be a bad person. You get the drift. I believe we lie to ourselves more than we lie to everyone else….COMBINED! So stop the lies.
Write down ten truths about yourself and ten things you are working TOWARDS making a truth. Write them as though they were already true, such as: “I am an excellent and exceptional person”, “I am worthy of love by others and myself”, “I am confident and brave”…ten that are already true…ten you are working on.
Every morning when you get up, before your feet hit the floor, recite your 20. Every night before you go to bed, recite your 20. You are reprogramming your subconscious mind. In 28 days you will be amazed (if you repeated these each day as recommended) at how much more truthful you are to yourself…and thus you will start to be more truthful to others as well. Now, go and change the world…one truth at a time!
Frank Keck is the People Whisperer, and the newest member of the NOTHINGBYCHANCE family. In addition, Frank is the creator of the Embrace Your Freakness concept. This concept which started with the book, now moves into the third dimension with “The Experience”, where the book comes to life with a select group of fellow freaks who let their freak flags fly in a SIX HOUR EXTRAVAGANZA! To get your freak seat, click here. To learn a bit more about the foremost freak, Frank, click on his image.