Joy: Hide and Seek Backwards
To all those who do not have a deep well of camp songs to draw from, I’m sorry. For the rest of us, sing along with voice at full: I’ve got joy, joy, joy, joy deep in my heart, YES, deep in my heart, LORD, deep in my heart… To all those who do have this song in their well, all you need to do is keep singing. For the rest of us, this piece (also, peace) is for you!
Brene’ Brown gets most credit for this article and she has proof, i.e. evidence, about the significance of joy. It is not happiness. It is not thrills and chills. It is not excitement. These feelings occur when we run into something. We’re happy when we’re given a bonus. We’re thrilled when we go down a 17-story water slide. We’re excited when our team wins a game.
We feel joy when it finds us. We want joy but we can’t seek it. Joy finds us. We can become frantic searching, but joy is experienced when we allow it to find us. Has not your soul stirred when you peeked into your infant’s crib while s/he slept peacefully? What, if not joy, is the experience one has when a friend credits you for their triumph? To be touched by someone’s love brings joy to my heart, what about you?
Why would we resist? “In a culture of deep scarcity – of never feeling safe, certain, and sure enough – joy can feel like a setup.” A good thing happens and worry starts about the bad thing that will come and spoil the good thing. Brown reports that feeling joy left her study participants feeling the most vulnerable. Many avoid this terror by choosing to live in perpetual disappointment. It hurts a little all the time, which is better than hurting more some of the time.
NBCC coaches and counselors help people accept being vulnerable, a place necessary to stand in order for joy to find you.
I no longer liked hide and seek when my younger sister changed the rules. Instead of going to a remote place while the seeker counted quickly to 100, she would be small and obvious. Being found was more fun than hiding successfully. Today, how great the longing is for joy to find me. For you, too?
Brene’ Brown writes, “And nothing has been a greater gift to me than the three lessons I learned about joy and light from the people who have spent time in sorrow and darkness:
- Joy comes to us in moments – ordinary moments. We risk missing out on joy when we get too busy chasing down the extraordinary.
- Be grateful for what you have.
- Don’t squander joy. “
There is only one you. Be open. Only then will joy find you. It’s the ultimate reward for the difference only you can make.