Nothing By Chance Blog

From Victim to Victor


Do you know how good you can feel when you finally realize that you are good enough, just the way you are! You will become free from the shackles of worry and anxiety about what others think of you.  You see that you are the only one in the world that is totally responsible for your happiness.  What a great place to be because it puts you in control of you’re destiny. The transformation includes several major life changes that are going to be very uncomfortable.  Saying no and setting boundaries is extemely difficult when you have become known as yes man. But, the biggest challenge for you will need to overcome is to love yourself, just the way you are. Only through learning how to feel okay from within, is it possible to undo the motivation to please others. As with almost everything else relating to the human psyche, when a behavioral pattern that is clearly maladaptive as an adult was once adaptive as a child, there will be a strong, deep-seated resistance to changing it. And this opposition will hold regardless of how much, consciously, the individual truly desires to change it. Therefore, it is not feasible to just change your feelings.  I can’t say to you “you need to start valuing and loving yourself more”, although, I really wish it were that easy, (I’d be rich). Unfortunately, the only way to change feelings is by changing behaviors and attitudes. Changing your long-standing pleasing patterns will take work; but everything “great” takes effort. During this journey, you are going to set boundaries with people that you care about.  Like your parents, friends, bosses, clients, co-workers and yes, even your children. Throughout this process, you will learn to take YOU back. It is not an easy journey but it will be a journey that is well worth the effort. Changes in latitudes is all about learning to love you, UNCONDITIONALLY. If we couldn’t laugh we would all go insane.

  1. Lettie Barre
    Lettie Barre02-19-2013

    This is a fantastic article with well-scripted, engaging information that is complete with original and sensible views. Much of the informative articles is in line with my way of thinking.

  2. Lark

    Always refreshing to hear a rational aesnwr.

  3. Brant Marsh
    Brant Marsh02-10-2013

    Once you have coped with cancer, your life is never the same. Because of the life-altering nature of breast cancer, many women tell about the minor and major changes that their cancer has inspired. Some women may find themselves taking on a new career, or looking at their family relationships and perhaps changing them if they find them to be toxic in their life. Other cancer survivors find themselves pursuing new leisure activities as well as other interests and hobbies. Cancer changes the way you look at your life and you most likely had never thought so much about your limited time on earth until your breast cancer diagnosis. You may find yourself acutely aware of how finite life is and feel propelled to make changes in your life. Your breast cancer has made you realize how much time you have wasted lamenting over past hurts and losses. Now you want to make the best use of your time and the pendulum seems to swing dramatically in the other direction.

  4. Berta L. Madden
    Berta L. Madden02-08-2013

    While there is more to your journey than just these seven things, this is a huge start. Clarity and commitment are the biggest steps, the rest is easy. One foot in front of the other.

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  1. Anonymous12-09-12
  2. Anonymous12-09-12