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Author Archive for: ‘nbccdan’

Recognizing Joy

Joy – For some of us this is an emotion that seems to skip over us and land in the hearts of children and other people. “Joy?” you might say. “Really? You think with all I have to do, all I have to be worried about, all the stuff in my life – you expect me to walk around with …

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Recovery As A Way Of Life

“Change is hard.” It’s something that we’ve all heard many times. I used to push back on that statement and say, “Change isn’t necessarily hard, it’s just different.”   For many people who struggle with addiction – alcohol, drugs, food, gambling, sex, or other addictions – their addiction becomes a way of life. In therapy we often talk about “the …

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The Paradoxical Model of Shame

If you struggle with addiction or know someone who does, you probably recognize this cycle: Discomfort/frustration -> acting out (addiction) -> (short term) relief -> shame (more discomfort; start the cycle again) Sure, guilt and embarrassment come into play, too, but shame is the overriding emotion that my clients tell me they feel. Guilt and embarrassment surface when an addict gets …

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How much is too much?

If you’ve watched any television programs, at just about any time of the day or night, you’ve seen commercials for alcoholic beverages or noticed how alcohol is prominent in almost every show on TV. Even Kathie Lee & Hoda have become popular for, among other things, drinking wine on their morning show. In our society, where almost every social activity – from business networking …

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Keeping Up…

Have you ever done the “keeping up with the Joneses” game? You know the gig – you see someone else and they have something you want – the car, job, family, wife, girlfriend, friends, body, etc. Maybe you start thinking things like “That lucky SOB” or “Man, that’s what I want/deserve” or “What’s the big deal? I could have that …

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Good Boundaries

You may hear people (women and therapists!) talk about boundaries. What are boundaries, why do you care and what good are they?  Let’s take a look… Think of boundaries as the personal rules you live by that keep you safe. They also establish guidelines for how we treat other people and how we expect to be treated. Boundaries help regulate …

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Life Happens

Life happens. Every moment of every day we’re experiencing other people, situations, experiences, thoughts, judgments  criticisms, and so much more. Each of these changes us in some small way. You are NOT the same person you were a few days ago, let alone when you were a child. Life happens – and we grow, change and flow along with it. There’s …

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You have the Right to a Successful Relationship!

Relationships are at the heart of everything we do. You are in a relationship with every person you know or interact with – some of them more appropriately superficial than others. For instance, you’re a mother or father, brother or sister, daughter or son, friend, lover, worker, employee, confidant, acquaintance or stranger. Relationships play a big role in defining our social strata. One …

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The People In Our Lives

Harvey Penick was a legendary golf instructor in Austin Texas. His students are some of the greatest male and female professional and collegiate players of all time. One of Mr. Penick’s favorite sayings was, “If you want to be a good putter, go to dinner with good putters.” Really? Go to dinner with good putters? How about, “Ask them to tell you their …

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Reaching your real self

For whom do you live your life? It’s come up in several conversations recently with clients that they are living for someone else. One client has lived for a father, one for a mother, one for a spouse. It seems like a noble, honest and righteous thing to do – live for the people you love. But there’s a catch… What transpired with …

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Welcome To The Men’s Room

I’ve been working with men and the issues they face each and every day. I enjoy the work I do with other guys so much I decided it was time to focus my counseling and coaching practice on men and their issues. From relationships and parenting to sex & pornography addictions to stress at work to anger management to health …

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What did we learn from the Olympics?

OK, so I’m using the Olympics as a ploy to get you to read this coaches corner – guilty as charged. But here’s the thing – Olympians use coaches – specialists in their fields such as weight training, nutrition, sport-specifics, psychological aspects, etc. – and they succeed in achieving their goals. This is essentially what I do with clients! Goal …

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Client Success Story

Recently a client was searching for a new job. (Even if you’re not looking for a job read on – there’s something for you, too!) She’d had a lot of activity – networking, interviews, resume sending, phone interviews, informational interviews, etc. – but wasn’t finding anything she truly liked. She’d had a couple offers, but none that she felt comfortable …

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Bravery & Your Own Path

 

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The Perilous Journey of Becoming a Someone

  From the mind of Nic Askew, and courtesy of the attention of Dan Gabbert!

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