Are Your Plates Spinning or Crashing?
You know the ones I mean – all the things you put on your plate because, someone asked, it’s expected, you couldn’t say no, etc. ….
It is just so much easier to say yes than to face the scorn of saying no, and before we know it we are over committed! As the old saying goes – “If you want something done, ask a busy person to do it.”
I clearly remember when I decided it was time to start saying no. I was an over committed, stressed out mother of three and my health was suffering, when I took a phone call one evening from a man who was recruiting committee members for our church. When he asked my first thought was – UGH!!! I knew I could do it but to what expense? So, I said no. He was downright angry and had no problem laying on the guilt. Hard as it was, I stuck to my guns and I have to say – it felt good!
If you don’t have problems with over committing, KUDOS to you! But if you are like many folks, we tend to take care of everything and everyone else before we take care of ourselves. So I thought I would pass on an easy system that was given to me for evaluating and first stopping, then preventing over commitment.
Start by asking yourself, what could or would be different if I re-balanced my life? Would I be less stressed? Feel better? Have more energy? Enjoy my family more? Have time for myself?
Next, make a list of all the non-essential commitments you have and ask, what could I say no to? And let them go! As you make progress, you can continue regaining and maintaining balance by keeping an updated list of commitments to review and use for making decisions.
If you find this is easier said than done, journaling can help. Keep answering the question – What could or would be different if my life were re-balanced? This will help you stay focused as you gain clarity on what you want your life to be.
I promise you will feel great for taking care of yourself first! And whatever you said no to, someone else may be waiting to say yes.